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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that social networking sites have huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s contemporary world, there is an ongoing debate regarding the growing number of users of social media.
While
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 some
people
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 think that social networking
sites
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 have great detrimental effects on both
individuals
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 and
society
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, I completely agree with
this
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 point of view because online networking often turns into an addiction and young generations neglect
people
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 around them and lose interest in acquiring an education. First and foremost,
people
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 use social networking
sites
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such
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 as Facebook and Instagram to build virtual connections which often leads them to be engaged in continuous chatting and neglecting real-life
people
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.
For example
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, teenagers who spend several hours per day making friends online will eventually isolate themselves in their rooms and avoid speaking to their family members.
As a result
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, they may be gradually detached from their parents.
Moreover
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, their interpersonal skills will drastically decline and will face communication issues in
society
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.
Thus
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, these networking
sites
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 do really have a damaging impact on
individuals
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 and
society
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.
In addition
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, being too involved with online connections will have a negative impact on
individuals
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, particularly young
people
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 which leads them to lose focus and interest in their studies.
This
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 is because engaging with friends on social media feels more entertaining and they will
further
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 find ways to spend more time with online friends.
For instance
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, some may plan to meet up and try new and exciting things to do, like going to dance clubs or trying alcohol.
As a result
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, they lose interest in studies, perform poorly in school, and develop unpleasant behaviours.
Therefore
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, social networking
sites
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 indeed have huge damaging outcomes on
individuals
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 and
society
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. In conclusion, it is an undeniable truth and I firmly agree that online networking platforms have severe downsides for both
individuals
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 and
society
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such
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 as neglecting real-life connections and under-performing in schools. It is crucial to take the necessary steps to prevent
people
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 from being addicted to socials for the betterment of
society
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.

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Task Achievement
Your arguments are clear but could be supported by more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas and make your argument flow better.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main reasons for it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main ideas and restates your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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