IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Cultural tourism, where people travel in order to visit museums, monuments, and archaeological sites among other things, is a growing industry. Having so many visitors may sometimes benefit a nation’s cultural heritage, but can also cause problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Understanding different cultures has become widely popular across the world. Common tourist locations
such
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 as museums, monuments and archaeological sites have remained the cornerstone of cultural tourism which allows more cultural enthusiasts to engage in a variety of activities.
Although
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 a high influx of
visitors
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 increases the economic growth of the tourist industry, an overload can sometimes lead to
unforseen
Correct your spelling
unforeseen
 problems. I believe the growing popularity of
visitors
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 is more beneficial than problematic. Even though developed nations
also
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 benefit from cultural learners, many impoverished nations lack the resources to develop other methods of generating revenue
such
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 as Morocco, Egypt,
Cuba
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 and Thailand, which use cultural tourism as their primary source. An example is seen in
Cuba
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 which has struggled to achieve modern development
due to
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 its previous political ties with Russia.
As a result
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,
Cuba
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 has relied on attracting travellers to explore its national identity.
Subsequently
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,
visitors
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 will often travel to embrace
Cuba
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's vibrant architecture and historic infrastructure which fosters a deep sense of pride in their cultural heritage.
Furthermore
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, the increase
of
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in
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visitors
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 will boost their economy which will improve their GDP.
On the other hand
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, the increase in
visitors
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 often creates minor drawbacks.
For example
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, local citizens may feel neglected
while
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 tourists are prioritised.
Additionally
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, some travellers may potentially damage important landmarks and disrupt the cultural environment. In summary, Cultural tourism is an excellent way for people to experience different cultures and boost economic activity.
However
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, it is important to implement regulations and security protocols for protective measures.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion but adding a brief outline of your main points could help readers know what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Try to use paragraphs more clearly; separate your ideas logically to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, including more specific details or data could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and maintain it throughout the essay, which is very good for clarity.
task achievement
You make a strong case for the benefits of cultural tourism, which is interesting and informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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