IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

Nowadays, many governments try to attract tourists from various places in their homey. Some crowds argue that
,
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 travel causes many issues in their cities. In my opinion, I disagree with
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 statement. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why sojourn could destroy countries and I will shed light on some positive side of exploration.
To begin
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 with, few families think that, the passage causes many problems in their nation. There are many reasons for that.
Firstly
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, some visitors do not respect the law, civilization and traditions of others, So many citizens feel angry
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 their behaviour.
For instance
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, in Arabic countries, tourists must wear clothes that belong to Islamic civilization.
Secondly
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, the campestral could be crowded because of visitors. Local people can not move smoothly to their work.
For example
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, in Salalah, folks find difficulties inroads in the autumn season because many visitors come from different nations at that time.
On the other hand
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, tourism has many advantages. It is very necessary to reflect the culture of the
country
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 to all the world. Many cities are known for their famous features like the bridge Khalifa, the Eiffel Tower and so on.
In addition
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, journey increases the income of the
country
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. It helps the nation to develop and build new constructions.
Moreover
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, Tourism gathers people from different places in one place.
To sum up
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, tourism is very useful for every
country
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. It has many advantages and a few disadvantages. Society and government should work together to develop their
country
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 to attract many people.
Also
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, the government should put strict rules for the tourists to respect the traditions and culture of the
country
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clearly developed. Provide more detailed explanations for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear connections between your sentences and ideas. Consider using linking words like 'however' and 'furthermore'.
task achievement
Try to provide more examples that support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
content
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of tourism.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for your essay structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international tourism
  • bad thing
  • loss of cultural identity
  • environmental impact
  • economic imbalance
  • social issues
  • government control
  • lack of infrastructure
  • negative stereotypes
  • promote
  • sustainable tourism
  • raise awareness
  • cultural exchange programs
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