IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents prefer to send their children to boarding schools. Do the benefits of this approach outweigh the drawbacks?

Few
parents
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 give more importance to sending their kids to boarding schools.
Although
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,
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apply
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 there are drawbacks
such
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 as staying away from family and friends and second is do not getting family
love
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along with
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 spending time with them, there are benefits like
children
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 become more responsible and disciplined in their personal
as well as
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 professional lives and develop strong and good decision-making ability.
Therefore
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, the benefits of
this
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 approach outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
parents
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 have priority to send their
children
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 to a boarding school for study.
As a result
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, they stay away from their
parents
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also
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 with loved ones which can lead to a lack of emotional
love
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.
Moreover
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,
children
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 do not get valuable time to spend with family and for
love
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also
Linking Words
 which can lead to weakening the
parents
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 and
children
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 bond or relationship.
For example
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, my childhood friend Rahul who lived his school
life
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 in boarding had insufficient time and
love
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 with his family.
On the contrary
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,
this
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 approach builds kids' ability to grow in all aspects of
life
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.
On the other hand
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, the first and foremost importance of staying away from family makes
children
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 more responsible and disciplined in
life
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 because these qualities can lead to becoming respectful people in their personal
as well as
Linking Words
 professional lives.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 can construct strong and correct decision-making skills which is very powerful to become successful either in terms of money or as a person.
For instance
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, a recent study by "Education Asia" revealed that those who study at boarding schools have a 98% chance to get success in
life
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. In conclusion,
parents
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 giving more preference to studying their
children
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 from boarding school has a big change in their
children
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overall
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.

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task achievement
Make sure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction. It helps the reader understand your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
Add clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that are closely related to your main points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points nicely, reinforcing your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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