IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

An increasing
number
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 of individuals in many developing countries are buying
cars
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 for the first time.The problems of many new
cars
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 on the
road
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 are
traffic
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 congestion and damage to the environment, and the possible solutions are encouraging the public transport system and the government to provide quotas on purchases. The primary problem of many individuals purchasing
automobiles
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 in developing countries for the first time is a
road
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 blockade by a large
number
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 of
automobiles
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. It is common that there are fewer roads in
such
Linking Words
 countries as there is less space and if many people were to buy more
cars
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, it could lead to
traffic
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 congestion.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the growing
number
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 of newly purchased
cars
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 generates a huge amount of carbon emissions that are toxic to the planet.
For instance
Linking Words
, the environmental health survey of the world , which is done yearly, has measured a large amount of toxic emissions in the air
due to
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 the increasing
number
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 of newly purchased
automobiles
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 on the
road
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. The possible solution to
this
Linking Words
 ongoing problem is encouraging people to use the public transport system. As means of transportation like buses are widely used by the general public, there are fewer
automobiles
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 on the
road
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, many news media have highlighted the issues of
traffic
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 congestion that many have moved into using public transport
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if strict regulations were issued by the government on the
number
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 of purchases from car stores, the
number
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 of
automobiles
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 on the
road
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 would reduce. In conclusion, the main problems of the rise of new
cars
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 on roads
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 risk of
traffic
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 jams and air pollution, and the possible solutions are strict regulations.

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your main ideas more fully so that they are clear and easy to understand.
coherence
Try to use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points, which will make your argument stronger.
content
You have identified important problems related to car ownership in developing countries.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes the main problems and possible solutions well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • fuel prices
  • imported oil
  • road maintenance
  • public transportation
  • economic inequality
  • societal divide
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