Some people believe that culture will be ruined if is used to earn touris, revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the past few decades, more and more people believe that
culture
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will be destroyed if it is used for
tourism
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purposes and gain profits by
tourists
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, others say that
tourism
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is the main method to protect the
culture
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. In my opinion, I agree that
tourists
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could help the
culture
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and protect it from disappearing. I am going to discuss both views in the following paragraphs and will state my thoughts. First of all,
tourism
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plays a major role in the economy of different countries around the world.
Moreover
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, some countries benefit from their
tourists
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but their
culture
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will be
effected
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affected
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and won't be presented by the real image of that
culture
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.
For example
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, in Egypt, the locals bother the
tourists
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by trying to steal different things from their bags or even from their hands directly. Second of all,
tourists
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sometimes could destroy or ruin some artefacts and buildings of different
cultures
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because some of them are old and could be easy to be broken. On the one hand, some people agree that
tourists
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can help the
culture
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to be discovered and be protected from disappearing.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
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can bring
tourists
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to many places in different
cultures
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that may they notice something that has not been discovered by the locals.
For instance
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, some
cultures
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are located in harsh places that can be affected by different natural disasters and they may fall apart so the
tourists
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are the
most
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apply
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people who go to these places so they can tell the locals to help rebuild and protect these
cultures
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. In conclusion, I believe that
tourism
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has two sides.
Firstly
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it could ruin the
culture
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of many different countries.
Secondly
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,
tourism
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can help the
culture
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to be discovered and be protected by
tourists
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from different effects and I believe that it can outweigh the disadvantages of
tourism
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to the
cultures
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task achievement
Try to make your main ideas clearer and provide more support for your points. Use examples that are more connected to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your structure by organizing your paragraphs better. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as 'however' and 'moreover' to connect your thoughts smoothly. This can help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
You recognized both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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