IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some poeople think it is more important to spend moeny on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Respectfully, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement . Public transportation is available to everyone, elderly
people
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, children ,
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 with disabilities. Not all
people
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 can
use
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motorways
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.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I do believe that the government should consider allocating money for roads and
motorways
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, The government should fill all of the public needs without putting one on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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another, meaning not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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ignore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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 needs.
In addition
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, I did mention that all of
the
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apply
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society's needs should be covered equally without ignoring the other, but there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 some cases like
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 transport system , Unfortunately in
this
Linking Words
 case we can't ask for equal rights because
like
Correct word choice
apply
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I mentioned earlier, not all
people
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 can
use
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motorways
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 and walk on the streets.
To conclude
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, I'm not saying we're supposed to neglect some
individuals
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individual's
individuals'
show examples
 needs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I'm just pointing out that the idea of spending more money on public transportation is more important because everyone can
use
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 the railways and trams but not everyone can walk on the streets and
use
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motorways
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but make sure to clearly state your position. Perhaps rephrase your thesis to make your view more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more clearly. Use connecting words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to show the flow of your points.
task achievement
Give specific examples or facts to support your points. Mentioning statistics or real-life examples can make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You clearly state that public transport is important for everyone, which is a strong point in your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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