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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.
The line graph presents the results of a survey on the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 moved to a capital city of a certain country between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, moving for study purposes showed an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 moving for work was the most common reason, despite a slight decline.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who relocated
due to
Linking Words
 family or friends and adventure reasons remained the least common
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
. In terms of employment, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 moving for work increased from 60,000 in 2000 to just over 90,000 in 2010. A similar trend can be observed in those moving for study, which rose from about 25,000 to more than 50,000. Notably, in 2015, both categories – work and study – recorded the same
number
Use synonyms
, at approximately 85,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from 2000 to 2005, there was a small gap between those moving
due to
Linking Words
 family or friends and those moving for adventure purposes, both accounting for just over 10,000, with family or friends being slightly higher. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 citing family-related reasons continued to rise reaching 22,000 in 2010 and
then
Linking Words
 remaining constant towards the end of the period. Meanwhile,
people
Use synonyms
 who mentioned adventure purposes as their main reason stayed constant with an insignificant increase.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • migration
  • employment opportunities
  • educational facilities
  • vibrant lifestyle
  • healthcare access
  • medical services
  • social connections
  • infrastructure
  • transport facilities
  • data trends
  • survey results
  • capital city
  • allure
  • motivating factor
  • influencing
  • attracting
  • analysis
  • evaluation
  • assessment
  • consideration
  • exploration
  • introduction
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