The pie charts below show the share of the electronic devices by brand in 2009 and 2019.

The provided pie charts depict the share of the electronic

devices

Use synonyms

— Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Use synonyms

Laptop

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Laptops

show examples

Tablet

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tablets

show examples

, Desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

, Flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and Conventional

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

— in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is apparent that

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of electronic

devices

Use synonyms

in the first year is superior in conventional

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

Use synonyms

laptop

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laptops

show examples

and desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, the

proportion

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of remaining

devices

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namely mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

and flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

in another year is more dominant. The

proportion

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of electronic

devices

Use synonyms

of Mobile phones increased from 15% in 2009 to 26% in 2019. The share of

Use synonyms

laptop

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laptops

show examples

experienced

slight

Add an article

a slight

show examples

decline from 20% in 2009 to 12% in 2019. There was a significant rise in 2019, where

Use synonyms

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

a proportion

show examples

Use synonyms

laptop

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laptops

show examples

rose to 19% from 5% in 2009. The rate of electronic

devices

Use synonyms

in Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, which accounted for 18% in 2009 moderately dropped to 12% in 2019. The percentage of Flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

in 2019 was dramatically higher than that of in 2009, as

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of these electronic

devices

Use synonyms

in 2009 consisted

Change preposition

of 8

show examples

% and 27% in 2019. The

proportion

Use synonyms

of conventional

Use synonyms

which accounted for 34% in 2009,

undergoing

Wrong verb form

underwent

show examples

a substantial decrease to 4% in 2019.

ayshanngurbanovaMon Jun 23 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words devices, laptop, tv, proportion with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.

▼

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

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The pie charts below show the share of the electronic devices by brand in 2009 and 2019.

Nowadays , many people think that doing exercise is the best way to be healthy to what extent do you agree?

Do you agree or disagree with different jobs for men and women?

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?