IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people today are not getting enough physical exercise. what are the causes of this problem? what are some possible solutions?

Fitness without any qualms is one of the most vital aspects of a healthy
lifestyle
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. With the growing dependence on technology, physical inactivity has become a global concern. Let us discuss the causes behind the assertion
,
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apply
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 and remedial measures will be explicated in the upcoming paragraphs. There are multiple justifications to shed light on the given proclivity. To commence with, the most intrinsic one is that the demanding
lifestyle
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 and long working hours of an individual are disturbing their healthy
lifestyle
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.
Secondly
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, the rise of screen time-based applications like Netflix, youtube are taking a major part of the daily routine of the general public, resulting in the disruptions of healthy food habits. Investing time in the daily movement of the body, combined with a change in eating habits can showcase a huge difference in the life of the person. As per
the
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a
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 recent survey, the majority of people have a hilarious routine of snacking on junk food
while
Linking Words
 using electronic applications. These folks try to fulfil their cravings, leaving behind the worry about their physical fitness. Following up with healthy living, a person should avoid the intake of food after 10 pm. Before going out for a walk, getting rid of laziness will be a significant aspect of
lifestyle
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. To recapitulate, after having a myopic outlook on the given concerns, it is observed that most people are going forward with unhealthy lifestyles, resulting in major health problems. The problems can be removed by focusing on the cuisine habits and reducing the intake of junk snacks. Physical exercise of just 30 minutes a day can improve aspects of living.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This helps the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words to link your ideas better. For example, use words like 'first', 'next', and 'finally'. This improves flow.
task achievement
Expand on your solutions. Explain how the changes can help people exercise more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points.
task achievement
You identified relevant causes and solutions, showing you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exercise regimen
  • personal goals
  • individual pace
  • convenience
  • motivation
  • peer pressure
  • structured classes
  • social dynamics
  • accountability
  • external motivation
  • self-discipline
  • peer support
What to do next:
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