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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

International travelling is becoming cheaper and more countries are opening doors to increase the number of tourist. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

There is no denying the fact that nowadays, international travelling is becoming cheaper.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that many
countries
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 are planning to open doors to raise the
number
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 of
tourists
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. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
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 with, there are many advantages for these
countries
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 that decrease the costs of travel.
For example
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, an increasing
number
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 of
tourists
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 will be increased in the economic side of the country they will be visiting.
Also
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, the government will build more and more facilities and services for
tourists
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 and that will provide a lot of benefits for local
people
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.
In addition
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, many companies will invest in these
countries
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 to raise their sales.
On the other hand
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, there are many drawbacks to
this
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 situation.
For instance
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,
this
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 movement may attract many individuals from different layers to visit these
countries
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 and that will affect the security of these
countries
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.
Also
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, an increased
number
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 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 means increased traffic and that will impact the environment and raise from ratio of pollution. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 kind of question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that I agree with opening doors for
people
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 from different nations, but must clarify the country's rules for everyone coming from outside.
Moreover
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, local
people
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 who speak many languages share in translation the rules for
tourists
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 and use several materials
for example
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 social media to raise awareness of a large
number
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 of
people
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea and explains it fully. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This helps to show your ideas in a clear way.
task achievement
Try to clearly state your own opinion in the introduction, and ensure that it is reflected in the conclusion.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
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