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Band 8

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#people #strength #fi #success #sport #mort
In the contemporary epoch of globalization, it has been witnessed that the standards of athletics have changed. A wide range of individuals believe that to be a successful player you should have superior physical strength.
While
 others are convinced that mental strength is more crucial. In
this
 context, both arguments will be elucidated. On the one hand, physical merits can play a vital role in the athletic career. It can give him privileges beyond his competitors which can make him win in a lot of competitions.
Moreover
,
this
 merit can be exploited to make swift moves or elevate high weights.
For instance
, Yosin Bolt is considered the fastest-living human. When scientists tried to measure how became very fast, they deduced that the creation of his muscles made him
this
 fast.
On the other hand
, being mentally strong can have a vital role in winning.
Firstly
, it can make you recognize hidden things. The athletes will be able to have other strategies.
Furthermore
, he will have the ability to endure if he is imposed in any under-pressure situation. In one of the sparked instances, Mohamed Salah the Egyptian football player, when his turn to shoot the final penalty for Egypt. They asked him how he scored it and his answer was he was mentally strong and he trained how to handle
this
 matter. All in all, from what has been discussed above, I staunchly believe that mental strength is the key to accomplishing any reward. The players and coaches should focus more on it. There is no meaning to being robust with a poor mind.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences contribute to your argument. Some points, like "The players and coaches should focus more on it," can be expanded for clarity.
task achievement
Work on enhancing grammatical accuracy, as there are minor errors that can be polished - e.g., "how became very fast" should be "how he became so fast."
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both physical and mental strength in sports, addressing both sides of the question effectively.
task achievement
Clear examples like Usain Bolt and Mohamed Salah were used to support your arguments, adding depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout; the essay is easy to follow from introduction to conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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