IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people want to own items such as cars, clothing, and other things made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

More and more
people
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 want to own items
such
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 as cars, clothing, and other things made by famous
brands
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. What are the reasons for
this
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? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Today, many
people
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 prefer to buy
products
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 from famous
brands
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,
such
Linking Words
 as designer clothes, expensive cars, and popular electronics. There are several reasons for
this
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 trend. In my opinion,
this
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 is mostly a negative development. One main reason is that
people
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 want to look successful. Famous
brands
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 are often connected with wealth and a high social status. When someone wears a designer shirt or drives a luxury car, others may think they are rich and important.
Also
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, advertisements and social media make
people
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 believe that using popular
brands
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 will make them happier or more attractive. Another reason is that
people
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 think branded items are better in quality. Many famous companies use better materials and have good customer service, so buyers feel their
products
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 will
last
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 longer. Some
people
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also
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 follow their friends or
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 celebrities who wear or use these
brands
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.
However
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, I believe
this
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 trend has more bad effects than good ones.
First,
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it can lead to too much focus on money and material things.
People
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 may feel unhappy or jealous if they cannot afford expensive items. Some may even get into debt to buy luxury
products
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 they don’t really need.
Second,
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it can increase the gap between rich and poor.
Lastly
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, buying too many branded
products
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 can
also
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 harm the environment, especially in the fashion industry where clothes are made and thrown away quickly. In conclusion, many
people
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 choose famous
brands
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 because they want to look successful and believe in better quality. But I think
this
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 is mostly a negative trend, as it leads to materialism, stress, and harm to the planet.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to always link each point back to the main idea clearly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is very good.
task achievement
The reasons for the trend are well explained, showing good understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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