IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.

Some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of society
beleives
Correct your spelling
believe
 capital punishment is required
while
Linking Words
 others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is very cruel and should be avoided . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is required to decrease
crime
Use synonyms
 rates and provide safety for residents . Capital punishment is essential for a country to function properly . There are certain crimes like rape , murder and terrorism which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very inhuman and full of
cruely
Correct your spelling
cruelty
. They
derserved
Correct your spelling
deserve
 to be punished as
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 a serious
crime
Use synonyms
 and if we let them go easily , they have
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 to do criminal activities again and harm citizens .
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 the countries with strict laws have very few
crime
Use synonyms
 rates and
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer than
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Arab Emirates imposed heavy fines for small crimes and
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 penalty for serious crimes ,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 UAE is almost
Use synonyms
crime free
Add a hyphen
crime-free
show examples
, all rules and regulations are obeyed and citizens of
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 feel safer even during the night .
In contrast
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
human
Capitalize word
Human
show examples
right association
Correct your spelling
Rights Association
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not fine to punish criminals so severely because some criminals might have issues with mental health , which have been exacerbated by certain medicines or drugs and they are not in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 right mind to take
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their actions . In my view capital punishment is important for
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 rates and for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 betterment of society . Every person in
this
Linking Words
 world wants to feel safe and protected which can only happen when laws in our country are strict and
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 exception would be
a mentally ill patients
Correct the article-noun agreement
a mentally ill patient
mentally ill patients
show examples
.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer. State your opinion more clearly and outline your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connecting words to help organize your ideas better. For example, use words like 'first', 'second', or 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to summarize your thoughts clearly in the conclusion to remind the reader of your main points.
task achievement
You have provided a relevant example from the UAE, which helps support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • deterrent
  • crime
  • serious offenses
  • justice
  • victims
  • closure
  • life imprisonment
  • rehabilitation
  • legal system
  • fairness
  • wrongful convictions
  • moral
  • public opinion
  • perspectives
  • debate
  • effective
  • punishment
  • families
  • contribute
What to do next:
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