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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in millions visiting a particular Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
caribbean
Fix capitalization
Caribbean
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Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 became a more and more popular tourist destination as the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of tourists
exhibiting
Wrong verb form
exhibited
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 an increasing trend, especially
the
Change preposition
with the
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project
Check wording
increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 cruise ship was overwhelmed by a number of
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
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. Staying on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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 remained
as
Change preposition
apply
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the primary option across the period between 2010 and 2015. After a stagnation at around 0.7
million
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 in 2011, the figure for it climbed sharply to 1.5
million
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 in 2013, followed by a subsequent
stabilization
Change the spelling
stabilisation
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in
Change preposition
for
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 3 years.
By contrast
Linking Words
, despite a slight dip below 0.5
million
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 in 2012,
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
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 for staying on cruise ships jumped rapidly to over 1
million
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. From 2015, the number of tourists staying on cruise ships surpassed the other with a
similarly
Linking Words
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 pace, which
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 off at 2
million
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 in 2017. The figure for staying on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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 experienced a dip in 2016,
although
Linking Words
 it recovered as the former, the gap between them widened to almost 0.5
million
Use synonyms

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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dip" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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