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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
The line chart depicts the data of
visitors
Use synonyms
 of different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 who
travelling
Verb problem
were travelling
show examples
 to a particular Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 types of tourists showed an
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 trend. The
number
Use synonyms
 of total
visitors
Use synonyms
consistently
Verb problem
is consistently
show examples
 higher than
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 other groups, ranging from 1
million
Use synonyms
 to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
. The figure for
visitors
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 who stayed on
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships
also
Linking Words
 rose across 7 years. *Before 2013, the
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
remianed
Correct your spelling
remained
 stable at 0.75
million
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 from 2010 to 2011,
then
Linking Words
 gradually increased after 2011 and reached its highest point at 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, the
cruise
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 ship
visitors
Use synonyms
 demonstrated an opposite pattern,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 increased
initially
Linking Words
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 fell back to
start
Wrong verb form
the starting
show examples
 point
across
Change preposition
over
show examples
 2 years. After 2012, it increased again
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 0.5
million
Use synonyms
, which was similar to the
number
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2011. Meanwhile, the total tourists experienced a
constently
Correct your spelling
constant
 growth. From 2013 to 2017,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 maintained a steady
number
Use synonyms
 at 1.5
million
Use synonyms
, except 2016 had a
silght
Correct your spelling
slight
 downward
.
Check wording
trend.
show examples
 The
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on
cruise
Use synonyms
 rose steadily,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 gap between
island
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 narrowed. After 2015, the
number
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 of
cruise
Use synonyms
 tourists
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
island
Use synonyms
 ones, reaching its peak at 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, number, million, cruise with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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