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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Dameliya

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Dameliya
The line graph presents data on how many
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 visited Caribbean
Island
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2017.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
visitors
Change the noun form
visitor
show examples
 figures were fluctuating,
while
Linking Words
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 number was growing each year. In 2010 all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three categories showed the lowest visiting,
while
Linking Words
 in 2017 they demonstrated the best results. Travellers who stayed on cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
were went
Change the verb form
went
show examples
 up gradually in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 tourists who stayed on
Use synonyms
Island
Correct article usage
the Island
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined progressively in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
total
Add an article
a total
the total
show examples
 number
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily. Travellers who stayed on
Use synonyms
Island
Correct article usage
the Island
show examples
 were stable
three
Change preposition
for three
show examples
years
Use synonyms
, albeit for a small number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, from 2015 to 2016.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, attendees who stayed on cruise board doubled in touring from 0,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 1 million, between 2011 and 2014. Attendees who stayed on
Use synonyms
Island
Correct article usage
the Island
show examples
 were consistently higher than those who stopped over on
cruise
Correct article usage
the cruise
show examples
 board in 2012,
while
Linking Words
 guests who stopped over on
Isle
Correct article usage
the Isle
show examples
 were
neglibigly
Correct your spelling
negatively
 higher than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 were accommodated on
ship
Add an article
a ship
the ship
show examples
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 5 times.
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