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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Shyngys

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Shyngys
The line graph presents the
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2017. With data is divided into those staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
, those staying on the
island
Use synonyms
, and the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,The highest
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
number of visits
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
from visitors
show examples
 staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 those staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 experienced some fluctuations but remained relatively stable in the long term. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over the period, mainly by the
tourists
Use synonyms
 who visit on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
. In 2010, the
island
Use synonyms
 received about 1
million
Use synonyms
tourists
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, with roughly 0.75
million
Use synonyms
 staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 and 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
. Over the next four years, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
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 gradually increased, reaching about 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014. Notably, the
number
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 of
cruise
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 ship
visitors
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 more than doubled by 2014, equaling the
number
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 of those staying on the
island
Use synonyms
. From 2014 to 2017 growth continued, with the total
number
Use synonyms
 peaking at 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
Visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 sharpest grew, coming to 2
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 by the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
island
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
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 minimal changes from 2013, with the total
number
Use synonyms
 hitting
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1.5
visitors
Use synonyms
 by the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 both categories of
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased
overall
Linking Words
, the most remarkable growth came from those staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
, becoming the dominant group by 2017.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, cruise, ships, island, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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