IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree

One of the most talked-about
issues
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 in today’s world is the publishing of
details
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 about politicians’ private
lives
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 in newspapers. The opinion exists that
such
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 information should be kept private,
while
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 others believe the public has the right to know about the personal
lives
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 of their leaders. I agree with
this
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 idea, and I believe that publishing
details
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 of politicians’ private
lives
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 is important for ensuring transparency and accountability. Generally speaking, there are a wide range of reasons why people believe that publishing
details
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 of politicians’ private
lives
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 is necessary.
Firstly
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, it helps reveal their true character and ensures transparency in leadership.
Secondly
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, it allows the public to make informed decisions by understanding whether a politician’s personal values match their public promises. A good illustration of
this
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 is that if a politician speaks publicly about the importance of family values but is secretly involved in an extramarital affair, it creates a gap between their words and actions, leading to public disappointment and a loss of trust. Publishing politicians’ private
lives
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 not only shows who they really are but
also
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 stops them from hiding mistakes that could harm their work.
On the other hand
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, there are several arguments against publishing
details
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 of politicians’ private
lives
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 as many believe it invades their privacy and distracts from important political
issues
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 that deserve more attention.The primary argument against
this
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 issue is that it invades politicians’ personal privacy and shifts public focus away from serious national matters that affect the country’s future.
For example
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, when the media spends too much time talking about politician’s personal life, important
issues
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 like health, education, and the economy often get less attention from the public.
This
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 can lead to the public being less informed about important
issues
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 that affect their daily
lives
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 and the country’s future. In conclusion, the issue of revealing politicians’ private
lives
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 is very relevant to modern society because of people’s natural curiosity about public figures.
However
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, I strongly believe that sharing some
details
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 about politicians’ private
lives
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 is important to keep them honest and responsible for the benefit of the country. If the government encourages transparen

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task response
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion and the main points you will discuss, which is very strong. However, consider rewording some sentences for more variety in expression.
coherence cohesion
The body paragraphs have good logical structure, but try adding clearer topic sentences to each paragraph to lead the reader through your ideas more effectively.
task response
You provided relevant examples, but adding a few more specific details or statistics could strengthen your arguments further and make them more convincing.
task response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and reinforces the importance of transparency in politics, which is a strong ending to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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