IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve pp's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #pp #lives
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Nowadays,
science
 contributes to one of the most important roles in
people
's lives
as a consequence
 of the development of the world. So many
people
 believe
science
 should undeniably be the improvement of
people
's prosperity and I totally concur with
this
 statement. It is clear to see that the main purpose of scientific research is to enhance
people
's prosperity through many innovations in technology, medicine, and other fields. Especially,
science
 incredibly impacts healthcare, helps
people
 in treatment, and extends human longevity.
For example
, the discovery of antibiotics and vaccines has revolutionized the medical field in the world, helped
people
 prevent infectious diseases, and reduced the proportion of death which is caused by epidemics.
Besides
, putting technology into treatments and advanced surgical procedures effectively helps cut down the amount of work of doctors and increase patients' survival rates. These achievements are the base for the development of the medical industry to continue to enhance human health
in
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over
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 the course of time. When it comes to social issues,
science
 plays a crucial position in solving almost all problems and improving quality of life. In many agricultural areas and industrial areas,
science
 is more and more important and contributes to motivating the global economy.
For instance
, in agriculture,
science
 helps to increase crop yields and efficiency in raising animals, combating drought, and supplying food for populations available.
According to
 the energy industry, a lot of ways given by
science
 to solve climate change as renewable energy, and reduce using fossil fuels which contaminate the atmosphere. It will improve not only environmental conditions better and cleaner but
also
 human well-being. In summary, the prime aim of
science
 is
supposed
Verb problem
apply
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to lead
people
's lives to a wealthier life.
Science
 enhances the medical field and improves social life as economic and provision.
Furthermore
, it brings some solutions for many issues about climate and weather and helps the environment better.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task response
Consider opening your essay more explicitly by clearly restating the topic in your introduction to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better flow; using transition words or phrases could help.
task response
Incorporate diverse sentence structures to maintain reader interest and enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay provides comprehensive examples that adequately support the main points, particularly in the field of medicine and agriculture.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, encapsulating your argument neatly.
task achievement
The essay undeniably captures the essence of the topic by emphasizing the practical implications and benefits of science on human life.
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