IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that governments waste money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and relevant examples.

A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have to do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work that they don'
t
Use synonyms
 find suitable for them or they think that they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have the required talent for it . And we need to mention the consequences that will happen because of that feeling ,
Linking Words
However
Add the comma(s)
However,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 decide to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of decision so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 obtain a good quality of life , And they don'
t
Use synonyms
 think about the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 of the decision , In my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think it's hard to decide since some
people
Use synonyms
 grow up rich and they don'
t
Use synonyms
 think about the income when they think about choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 that suitable for them , Unlike the
people
Use synonyms
 who have grown up in
Add an article
a middle
the middle
show examples
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 family or below where they think about the income first , In conclusion , Choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 could be hard on some
people
Use synonyms
 because of their financial background and they don'
t
Use synonyms
 consider the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 that will happen because of that choice that they made ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 you see the
people
Use synonyms
 who decide to get a
job
Use synonyms
 based on their feeling of which
job
Use synonyms
 will suit them , In the
end
Add the comma(s)
end,
show examples
 you can'
t
Use synonyms
 say any of them is on the wrong side since they had different background and reasons for choosing

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task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and stick to the topic. Some of your points are not directly related to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay in clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea. This will help your reader understand your points better.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your ideas. Specific examples will make your points stronger.
task achievement
You show an understanding of the different backgrounds and choices of people regarding jobs. This adds depth to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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