IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is commonly asserted that the surge in
car
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ownership
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 is the principal cause of persistent
traffic
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congestion
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 in many metropolitan areas worldwide.
However
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, I contend that
this
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 perspective overlooks a more significant factor: the disproportionate concentration of economic activities within a limited urban core.
Furthermore
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, I believe that governments can effectively alleviate
traffic
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 problems by imposing appropriate charges on vehicle
ownership
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.
To begin
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 with, it is overly simplistic to attribute
traffic
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 jams solely to an increase in the number of cars. Numerous major cities suffer from severe
congestion
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 even when
car
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ownership
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 rates remain stable.
This
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 is largely
due to
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 the clustering of businesses, offices, and commercial hubs in central districts, which attract a massive daily influx of commuters from surrounding suburbs.
According to
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 recent studies, nearly 70% of megacities experience
traffic
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 bottlenecks primarily because of
this
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 economic centralization rather than just the volume of vehicles on the road.
Moreover
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, implementing financial disincentives
such
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 as
congestion
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 charges or higher taxes on private vehicles can effectively discourage unnecessary
car
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 use.
For example
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, a Japanese city introduced increased vehicle fees as part of an environmental initiative, leading to a one-third reduction in new
car
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 registrations over three years.
This
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 demonstrates that economic policies can motivate individuals to seek alternative, more sustainable means of transportation, thereby mitigating urban
traffic
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 woes. In conclusion,
while
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 increased
car
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ownership
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 contributes to
congestion
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, the core issue lies in the economic concentration within city centres. By adopting fiscal measures that discourage excessive private vehicle use, governments can foster a more balanced urban transport ecosystem and substantially reduce
traffic
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 jams.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and relevant response to the task. You discuss both viewpoints and provide clear reasons supporting your opinion.
task achievement
While your points are well made, consider adding more examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
To improve cohesion, use more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the issue, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
The use of an example from Japan effectively illustrates your point about the impact of economic policies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapidly
  • traffic jams
  • car ownership
  • partially true
  • extent
  • infrastructure
  • population density
  • public transportation
  • measures
  • discourage
  • reduce
  • congestion
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