IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people belive that robots are very important to human’s future development, whilw others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often considered that the robot invention may change our generation to another high level,
while
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 others believe that robots are dangerous and have a negative impact on society.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and argue in favour of the latter. On the one hand, the invention of the robot has changed society in all aspects.
For instance
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, businessmen are the ones who definitely benefit from it.
In other words
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, they can replace the company's employees with robots and save tons of money. Not only it will save them money but
also
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 it will do the work in the most efficient way with no human errors.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 invention may often help humanity by handling difficult missions
such
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 as structural work.
In addition
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 to that, it
also
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 can be used in medical functions,
for example
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, working in the nursery.
On the other hand
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, the community should be aware of the bad side that these robots hold.
For example
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, the availability of these creatures is everywhere so
as a result
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 of that, people will face unemployment. Because they will be replaced and not only that but
also
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instead
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 of paying the employees their salary every month, buying a bunch of these creatures with only one payment is more beneficial for wealthy people. In my opinion, I believe that these creatures who entered our lives and unfortunately ruined them should be eliminated, and only be used in certain factories.
However
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, people now are aware of the harmful side that they carry.
To conclude
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,
although
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 technology plays a huge part in human life, it
also
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 has a harmful and dangerous effect on it.
However
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, working on developing the future of society is
such
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 a great move to take but drawbacks should be considerable too

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Your position should be clear from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea that connects back to the topic.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. For instance, provide specific examples of types of robots that may be beneficial or harmful.
task achievement
You have made good points both for and against robots.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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