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Writing Samples
Band 7

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

#people #employment #ones #create
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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously discussed among various individuals and groups, and one prominent one is that the older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones.
However
, we can predict the controversy of
this
 tendency
as well as
 the solutions for
this
 statement.
To begin
 with, the first problem is the increasing number of unemployed citizens. Nowadays, most companies
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prefer to recruit the younger generation, mainly because they have much more to offer than the generations that came before them.To elucidate
further
, the second problem is that more people will have to experience poverty. When talking about unemployed adults, they might not be the only ones who will suffer from not having a job.
For instance
, they might have kids to take care of, or even a bigger family
that is
 included in their responsibility. As for those problems, the possible solution might come from the government and companies themselves. The government can help in providing some financial help in the form of insurance for those families in need. It can lighten the burden on individuals who are still trying to find a stable career. As for the companies, they should arrange some special positions for the elderly who are in need of a job.
Thus
, the elderly will have an easier competition rather than having to compete with the lower age. In conclusion, the increasing amount of unemployed adults and poverty may be the possible problems that have to be faced because of it.
Hence
, I believe that providing insurance and job positions can help the elderly find the most suitable jobs for them to survive on their own.
Submitted by arrafiv on

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure clarity in the introduction by presenting your main ideas more precisely. Avoid generalizations and provide a clear argument outline.
Linguistic Range and Accuracy
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them or making them seem forced.
Lexical Resource
Increase your range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the variety and sophistication of your language.
Supporting Examples
Give more specific examples to support your main points. This will demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.
Solution Depth
Expand on your solutions by providing detailed explanations of how they would work and their potential impact. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ageism
  • Generational divide
  • Technological advancements
  • Skills gap
  • Job scarcity
  • Industry preferences
  • Pension expenditure
  • Financial planning
  • Employability
  • Retraining programs
  • Upskilling opportunities
What to do next:
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