Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?
Nowadays, manufacturing is continuing to grow and it needs more
energy
resources. Also
, Industrial use leads to environmental pollution which comes from fossil fuels.
On the one hand, after the industrial revolution, our planet has already used a massive amount of energy
because today the number of people is increasing by leaps and bounds. Besides
, the construction sector is also
using different types of natural sources. For example
, during the building process, it produces the highest ratio of greenhouse gas
.
If we look at closely Fix the agreement mistake
gases
this
situation, we can easily notice that our habitats and natural resources are being consumed by big companies and this
excessive energy
consumption has a negative impact on nature.
On the other hand
, governments must stop the industrial usage of energy
. For instance
, they can establish utilize firms in order to manage energy
was implemented cautiously . İn addition , all around the world several states can make a pledge among the companies and the government. Moreover
, the governments should introduce new legislation and bring constraint measures for companies who have over usage of sources. The other solution is most likely to build a waste treatment plant because in the world, a significant amount of waste is produced by manufacturing and it leads to irreversible damage to the forests.
Finally
, people must reduce the cost of consuming unnecessary shopping in addition
to every person who is committed to conserving our habitats .
In conclusion, If manufactory or building will continue to huge energy
consumption , we can our planet. Because of that , governments must be rigorous across the problem .Submitted by kickbox191 on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be more clearly defined. Try to create distinct sections so that your essay has a strong opening and closing.
complete response
Your essay presents a complete response to the task and covers the main points, but it lacks depth in some areas. To improve, provide more specific details and examples to support your statements.
logical structure
There are relevant points made, but some ideas appear scattered or underdeveloped. Focus on organizing your essay better, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with supporting details.
supported main points
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will help create a more cohesive essay where ideas flow logically from one to another.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing. Aim to vary your sentence structures and use a more formal tone. Additionally, consider revising sentences for clarity and conciseness.
task achievement
The essay addresses the causes and effects of excessive energy consumption, successfully understanding the task requirements.
supported main points
Your points regarding the impact on the environment and potential solutions suggest a strong understanding of the topic's complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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