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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
theft
Use synonyms
 crime per thousand vehicles in four countries which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 Great Britain,Sweden,
France
Use synonyms
 and Canada over periods of 9 years between 1990 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom consistently had the highest rate of car
thefts
Fix the agreement mistake
theft
show examples
 despite a decline toward the end of the period,
while
Linking Words
 Sweden was the only country to show a significant increase.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
France
Use synonyms
 and Canada remained stable, with relatively low and consistent
theft
Use synonyms
 rates throughout
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 Looking at the details , Great Britain was the highest one IN THE HALL YEARS. It began at nearly 17 in 1990
then
Linking Words
 it grew slowly to reach 20 per cent in 1992 , after that the
theft
Use synonyms
cars
Change preposition
of cars
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 crime decreased in 1999 to 17 approximately in
U.K
Correct article usage
the U.K
show examples
 . in
Sweden
Add a comma
Sweden,
show examples
 the proportion of car
theft
Use synonyms
 rose considerably from nearly 8 to 14 over
Correct article usage
a periods
show examples
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
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 of 9 years . Looking at more details, we can see that the rate of cars stolen in
France
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
varies
show examples
variatoin
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 began in 1990 at about 6
then
Linking Words
 it climbed up to nearly 8
then
Linking Words
 it went down to reach 6 per cent in 1999. Canada was approximately 6 in 1990 after that it became at the same rate as
France
Use synonyms
 in 1999 which was 6 per cent.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words theft, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theft rate
  • fluctuations
  • trend
  • vehicle theft
  • per thousand vehicles
  • decade
  • steady increase
  • steep decline
  • comparative analysis
  • noteworthy changes
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