IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
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news
Use synonyms
 editors and producers choose which type of content to show on television or
newspapers
Change preposition
in newspapers
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. Their choice can be influenced by the
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 of people.
furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe that increasing the number of positive
news
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 would make us more aware of the negative ones. One of the influential factors for selecting
news
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 that will be shown on TV or
Change preposition
in newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 is trends. If there is a trending topic at a certain period of time,
news
Use synonyms
 producers broadcast it on TV more than
Change preposition
in newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because they want to gain a significant amount of viewers, which in turn
rise
Verb problem
raises
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 their financial benefits through advertisement offers. When companies find a channel which has a high number of followers, they try to get a deal with it.
For example
Linking Words
, as soon as the
rumor
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rumour
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 about Jennie dating Taehyung came out, MTV channel talked about it in order to get as many views as possible.
As a result
Linking Words
, MTV made millions of dollars through the advertisements they carried out. Some people think broadcasting bad
news
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 frequently can affect our reaction to them. I totally agree with that because individuals get desensitised to a specific type of information if they are exposed to it constantly. If more positive
news
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 added, it will make us more aware of the different types of
news
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 available.
This
Linking Words
 is because we will not be used to one type of content, and that will help us act upon
these
Change the determiner
this news
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news
Use synonyms
 properly.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
repeatition
Correct your spelling
repetition
 of the stealing cases in the US, made people care less about it, and even normalise it. in conclusion,
although
Linking Words
news
Use synonyms
 producers might have specific criteria to decide what content to show on TV and
Change preposition
in newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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, I think that trends have an essential influence on their
decision
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decisions
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, adding positive
news
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 could increase our sensitivity and awareness toward bad
news
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, because it will not be considered normal in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. This helps readers understand your position right away.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate your ideas clearly. This makes it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example about the MTV channel to support your point about trends.
task achievement
Your awareness of the media's influence on public perception is a strong point in your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Engagement
  • Relevance
  • Urgency
  • Natural disasters
  • Political upheavals
  • Public health concerns
  • Advertising revenue
  • Sponsorship deals
  • Market competition
  • Editorial policies
  • Censorship
  • Newsworthy
  • Desensitization
  • Bad news fatigue
  • Negativity bias
  • Balanced view
  • Social media
  • Viral content
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