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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Homeschooling has become very popular in recent years. However most people still believe that attending schools is the best way to obtain formal education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling

Undoubtedly,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
 has
popularised
Add a missing verb
been popularised
show examples
 in present times. Many individuals assert that the best way to get
quality
Add an article
a quality
show examples
 education is
attending
Change preposition
by attending
show examples
 schools. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 notion and flexibility in
time
Use synonyms
 and availability of comfort zone,
whereas
Linking Words
 the drawbacks are lack of social skills
as well as
Linking Words
 incompatibility of
Use synonyms
home schoolers
Correct your spelling
homeschoolers
show examples
 in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 school
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. The primary reason why homeschooling is advantageous is that it provides personal
time
Use synonyms
 to kids which makes their schedules of doing academic tasks flexible. Following stringent restrictions lessens the interest of
children
Use synonyms
 to do work,
while
Linking Words
 having flexibility ,
maintenance
Correct word choice
and maintenance
show examples
 of focus is ensured.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 in the comfort space,
pupil
Correct article usage
the pupil
show examples
tries
Add the particle
tries to
show examples
 do numerous new activities without hesitation and can discuss the results
open
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
either with his personal tutor or parents.
Such
Linking Words
atmosphere
Correct article usage
an atmosphere
show examples
 provides him adequate
time
Use synonyms
 to analyse his mistakes and improve his skills. The
demerits
Fix the agreement mistake
demerit
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 tendency is
incapability
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the incapability
show examples
 of the student to inculcate social habits like wise leadership, honesty, punctuality, sportsmanship, etc. In him, studying alone at
home
Use synonyms
 does not enable him to encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the qualities required in an individual to stay in the company
due to
Linking Words
 which he lacks in societal qualities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 or more active and able to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with stress,
while
Linking Words
 homeschoolers are not as compatible as
children
Use synonyms
 who have joined the school because they
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not undergo numerous circumstances of studying under pressure of
time
Use synonyms
 working in a team and considering opinions of companies and teachers. In conclusion, the major pros of homeschooling are
provision
Add an article
the provision
show examples
 of flexible
time
Use synonyms
 to mentee and studying in
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
 space
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 one's efficiency,
wilst
Correct your spelling
while
 its disadvantages are not only lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
social habits in
Use synonyms
home schoolers
Correct your spelling
homeschoolers
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 are incompatible to tackle several situations as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
children
Use synonyms
 attending educational institutes.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas and provide specific examples to support them.
coherence
Work on improving the flow between your ideas to make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your points and providing more details about each advantage and disadvantage.
content
You introduced the topic well and stated clear advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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