IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that humans and animals should have the same rights others believe that they not intelligent as humans so they shoulkd not have the same rights. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

There is a growing debate about whether
animals
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 should be granted the same
rights
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 as
humans
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. Some believe that
animals
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 deserve equal treatment,
while
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 others argue that the differences in
intelligence
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 and capability between
humans
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 and
animals
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 justify unequal
rights
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.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion. On the one hand, supporters of animal
rights
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 argue that all living beings have the capacity to suffer and feel pain, regardless of their
intelligence
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. They believe that
animals
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 deserve the
Use synonyms
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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 to live free from cruelty, exploitation, and unnecessary harm.
For example
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, animal
rights
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 activists campaign against factory farming, animal testing, and the use of
animals
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 for entertainment. From a moral standpoint, they
are
Verb problem
believe
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 that being sentient
capable
Correct word choice
and capable
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 of experiencing emotions is enough reason to protect
animals
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' basic
rights
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,
such
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 as the right to life and freedom.
On the other hand
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, critics of equal
rights
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 for
animals
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 often point out the significant differences in
intelligence
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, language, and self-awareness between
humans
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 and
animals
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. They argue that
rights
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 are tied to responsibilities and social contracts, which
animals
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 cannot understand or
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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.
For instance
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,
while
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 can vote, own property, or be held accountable for crimes,
animals
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 cannot participate in society in the same way.
Therefore
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, they believe that
animals
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 be treated ethically, but not necessarily granted the same legal
rights
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 as
humans
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. In my opinion,
while
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animals
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 should not have exactly the same
rights
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 as
humans
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, they deserve strong legal protections to ensure humane treatment. Basic
rights
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such
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 as the right to live without suffering, to be free from abuse, and to live in a natural environ ment should be upheld. At the same time, it is important to recognize the unique roles and duties that come with being human, which justify a different set of
rights
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. In conclusion,
although
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animals
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 may not match
humans
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 in
intelligence
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 or capability, they are still sentient beings worthy of compassion and respect. A balanced approach is needed one that provides
animals
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 with meaningful protections without equating them entirely with
humans
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 in terms of
rights
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This will help the reader understand your stance more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly, like 'firstly,' 'although,' and 'in addition.' This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
If you can, provide more specific examples or real-life scenarios to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument fairly, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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