IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many believe that being good at a sport is the result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

people have
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 views about the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 being EXCELLENT AT A SPORT numerous RECON THAT
DUE TO
Linking Words
 THE FACT OF gift
WHEREAS
Linking Words
 OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BECAUSE OF
HARD
Correct article usage
A HARD
show examples
 job .IN
THIS
Linking Words
 ESSAY I WILL DISCUSS BOTH OPINIONS and mine
also
Linking Words
 AND GIVE A REASON.
FIRIST
Correct your spelling
FIRST
 OF ALL, it can be argued that the main role of being good at a game is the result of
talent
Use synonyms
 .
to
Capitalize word
To
show examples
 explain that, if the young man has got a gift in football like kicking the ball or dribbling the ball ,he might be a popular player in
this
Linking Words
 game.
For example
Linking Words
, Messi has a
brelliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
talent
Use synonyms
 it is helped him to be a famous player and get a lot of fans from all over the world.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that knack alone
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not enough to be good at sport . the reason for
this
Linking Words
 is it needs hard effort
furthermore
Linking Words
 . To illustrate that ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will take the same example of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a talent
show examples
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
 young man
who is
Verb problem
,
show examples
 Messi ,he did not depend on the huge knack only. he
also
Linking Words
 keened on exercise .
this
Linking Words
 means , he never ever
skip
Wrong verb form
skipped
show examples
 the
tranning
Correct your spelling
training
 with his team he always shows in the
tranning
Correct your spelling
training
.
in addition
Linking Words
 to that , the researches and studies provide that hard work more and more of training can bring the man to be good athlete,as an example of that, my son is good at swimming since he makes a hard effort of
traning
Correct your spelling
training
. in
conclucin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to me that
talent
Use synonyms
 alone and not having good exercise is not enough
furthermore
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard work alone is not enough. it should come
togthers
Correct your spelling
together
 to be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 or perfect athlete.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be clearer and more structured. Try to outline your main points in the introduction and summarize them clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully. For instance, you mention Messi as an example, but it can be clearer how his talent and work relate to being successful in sport.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. For example, ‘diffrent’ should be ‘different’ and ‘EXCELLENT AT A SPORT’ should be lowercased to maintain consistency.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition' to connect your ideas better and guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a relevant example of Messi, which helps support your points about talent and hard work.
task achievement
You show an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for this type of essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate abilities
  • Genetics
  • Exceptional skills
  • Training
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Practice
  • Continuous improvement
  • Natural predisposition
  • Hone skills
  • Supportive environment
  • Coaching
  • Opportunities
  • Amplify attributes
  • Case studies
  • Evidence
  • Raw talent
  • Relentless hard work
  • Combination
  • Early signs
What to do next:
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