Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future for both countries and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

On
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In
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recent days, most
people
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tend to believe that living in the present
days
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day
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is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
than planning for what
up coming
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upcoming
show examples
next.
Nontheless
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Nonetheless
, others disagree and find planning for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
is greater.
Furthermore
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, I firmly believe that balancing between both is essential for a healthy
life
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. In
this
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essay, my opinion will be
Correct your spelling
properly
proprly
Correct your spelling
properly
presented and I will draw my own conclusion, In terms of balancing, I
certinally
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certainly
think
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that living
on
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in
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the present is greater as much as planning for the
future
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is .
In other words
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,
people
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can enjoy
thier
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their
spending time with the
people
Use synonyms
they admire and still have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time for work and take a vision for
thier
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their
ahead days.
Moreover
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, giving 50
percentage
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per cent
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of your
life
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in both planning and enjoying will provide the best
life
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.
This
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is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
, by putting more energy
on
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into
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certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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the other area will
fall
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fail
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so it
always
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is always
show examples
50:50
Correct article usage
a 50,50
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realtionship
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relationship
.
On the other hand
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, focusing on one another.
Firstly
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,
while
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drawning
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drawing
on the
future
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debervation
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denervation
from happiness and peace will occur. Illustration,
workholic
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workaholic
people
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don't have the best social
life
Use synonyms
which
it
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is
show examples
essential.
Although
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,
communcating
Correct your spelling
communicating
with others can
ensuer
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ensure
this
Linking Words
person
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person's
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emotionally
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emotional
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needs.
However
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,
by
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apply
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addressing goals and visions for the
future
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can make the person
succuse
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success
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion, It is
evidant
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evident
that both situations were discussed in
further
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deatils
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detail
in
this
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essay
plus
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and
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my point of view
addressed
Add a missing verb
was addressed
show examples
proprly
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properly
either. I tend to think that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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of
given
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a given
show examples
time is greater than anything, where we spend it should matter and balance is the key.

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task achievement
Your ideas on planning and enjoying life are interesting, but you should support them with clearer examples or reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your sentences and ideas better. Use linking words like 'however' and 'moreover' more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity. For example, 'nontheless' should be 'nonetheless'.
task achievement
Your opinion about balancing present enjoyment and future planning is very thoughtful.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for your essay structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Present enjoyment
  • Future planning
  • Long-term satisfaction
  • Short-term gratification
  • Economic planning
  • Infrastructure development
  • Spontaneity
  • Immediate pleasures
  • Balanced approach
  • Mindfulness
  • Strategic foresight
  • Anticipation
  • Well-being
  • Present-mindedness
  • Prosperity
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