IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future for both countries and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 recent days, most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to believe that living in the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than planning for what
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
show examples
 next.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, others disagree and find planning for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is greater.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that balancing between both is essential for a healthy
life
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, my opinion will be
Correct your spelling
properly
proprly
Correct your spelling
properly
 presented and I will draw my own conclusion, In terms of balancing, I
certinally
Correct your spelling
certainly
 think
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that living
on
Change preposition
in
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 the present is greater as much as planning for the
future
Use synonyms
 is .
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 spending time with the
people
Use synonyms
 they admire and still have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 time for work and take a vision for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 ahead days.
Moreover
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, giving 50
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of your
life
Use synonyms
 in both planning and enjoying will provide the best
life
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
, by putting more energy
on
Change preposition
into
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 certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 the other area will
fall
Correct your spelling
fail
show examples
 so it
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
50:50
Correct article usage
a 50,50
show examples
realtionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, focusing on one another.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
drawning
Correct your spelling
drawing
 on the
future
Use synonyms
debervation
Correct your spelling
denervation
 from happiness and peace will occur. Illustration,
workholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
people
Use synonyms
 don't have the best social
life
Use synonyms
 which
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 essential.
Although
Linking Words
,
communcating
Correct your spelling
communicating
 with others can
ensuer
Correct your spelling
ensure
this
Linking Words
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
emotionally
Change the word
emotional
show examples
 needs.
However
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,
by
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apply
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addressing goals and visions for the
future
Use synonyms
 can make the person
succuse
Correct your spelling
success
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, It is
evidant
Correct your spelling
evident
 that both situations were discussed in
further
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deatils
Correct your spelling
detail
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay
plus
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 my point of view
addressed
Add a missing verb
was addressed
show examples
proprly
Correct your spelling
properly
 either. I tend to think that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 time is greater than anything, where we spend it should matter and balance is the key.

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task achievement
Your ideas on planning and enjoying life are interesting, but you should support them with clearer examples or reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your sentences and ideas better. Use linking words like 'however' and 'moreover' more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity. For example, 'nontheless' should be 'nonetheless'.
task achievement
Your opinion about balancing present enjoyment and future planning is very thoughtful.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for your essay structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Present enjoyment
  • Future planning
  • Long-term satisfaction
  • Short-term gratification
  • Economic planning
  • Infrastructure development
  • Spontaneity
  • Immediate pleasures
  • Balanced approach
  • Mindfulness
  • Strategic foresight
  • Anticipation
  • Well-being
  • Present-mindedness
  • Prosperity
What to do next:
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