IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Around the world, many people buy ready-to-eat food rather than cooking for themselves. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The global rise in the consumption of instant
food
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as junk
food
Use synonyms
, over traditional home cooking has become a growing trend.
While
Linking Words
 ready-to-eat
food
Use synonyms
 offers undeniable convenience, I believe that preparing
meals
Use synonyms
 at home delivers great long-term benefits, particularly in health and financial aspects. There are numerous advantages of homemade cooking over ready-to-eat
meals
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as healthier and cheaper.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it allows individuals to control the ingredients used and monitor their calorie and nutrient intake.
This
Linking Words
 practice not only supports
overall
Linking Words
 wellness but
also
Linking Words
 reduces the risk of chronic diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, obesity rates in the US are considerably higher than in Japan
due to
Linking Words
 their excessive consumption of processed
food
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 high in sodium and saturated fat, making them susceptible to cardiovascular risk.
Secondly
Linking Words
, homemade cooking is more cost-effective, as it eliminates additional fees for delivery and service which are typically included in ready-to-eat
meals
Use synonyms
. Despite these drawbacks, instant
food
Use synonyms
 offers a few noticeable advantages, particularly for people with hectic schedules. In the middle of fast-paced working circumstances, many people lack the time to cook, making ready-to-eat
meals
Use synonyms
 an attractive option.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advancements in technology have made fast
food
Use synonyms
 more accessible than ever, with a wide range of outlets available across cities.
For instance
Linking Words
, workers in the central business district prefer to eat KFC or McDonald’s for their lunch because they are mostly available in the office canteens. In conclusion, instant
meals
Use synonyms
 offer convenience in today’s world, yet the long-term health and economic benefits of home cooking outweigh the practicality of ready-to-eat
food
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals who are concerned about well-being and cost-effectiveness should be encouraged to cook their own
meals
Use synonyms
 whenever possible.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to make your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good logical flow in your argument, linking health and financial benefits to homemade cooking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: