One long-distance flight consumes fuel which a car uses in several years’ time, but they cause the same amount of pollution. So same people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourist travel, rather than to limit the use of cars.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are ongoing debates regarding the pollution caused by fuel consumption in flights and cars. Some argue that unnecessary
air
travel,
such
as tourist visits, should not be encouraged, others believe that restricting private automobile usage is more crucial. In
this
essay, I will examine both viewpoints and present my perspective. On the one hand, there are compelling reasons to support non-essential flights, primarily
due to
their significant contribution to the national economy. By expanding
air
routes, more opportunities for local tourism arise, which, in turn, boosts economic growth. Taking Danang as an example, since the increase to 111 local and international landings daily, its revenue from the tourism industry has doubled compared to the same six-month period
last
year.
Additionally
,
air
travel plays a vital role in the exchange and trade of products in certain countries. Given the geographical constraints of some nations,
such
as the inability to develop other transportation methods like waterways or railways, airlines emerge as a practical solution. Nepal,
for example
—a landlocked country with rugged terrain—where the construction of highways and railways would be prohibitively expensive and challenging.
On the other hand
, the booming use of private vehicles needs thorough reevaluation.
Whereas
a Boeing or an Airbus can transport over 300 passengers per journey, a car typically carries only about 4-7 people, resulting in significant fossil fuel emissions from on the road daily.
This
emission level can often surpass that of a single flight.
Moreover
, traffic jams exacerbate the problem, as idling vehicles produce a considerable amount of pollution.
Furthermore
, the risks associated with cars present another strong argument for discouraging their use. The proliferation of car ownership has led to a notable increase in injuries and fatalities from car accidents. In conclusion, considering the benefits of
air
travel, whether they are essential or non-essential in boosting local economies and giving access to certain regions
as well as
the drawbacks of private means of transportation, I incline more toward the former in the long term.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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task achievement
While your essay presents well-structured arguments, consider elaborating on the points you make to add depth to your discussion. Expanding on specific ideas with more detail will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is generally clear, but transitions between paragraphs can be improved to enhance the flow. Using more varied linking words and phrases could help in the smooth progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining your perspective and summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
The examples used, such as those of Danang and Nepal, are relevant and specific, which adds weight to your arguments.
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