The key to solving the environmental problems is for the present generation to sacrifice their convenient lifestyle for the sake of future generations. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Using technological devices
such
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as computers to access the internet is an important practice. Many
children
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cross
Correct your spelling
across
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the world,
however
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, use
this
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technology for gaming which can
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result
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results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
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their lack of concentration and poor communication skills; each should be addressed separately. The impacts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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’s access to digital tools to play
games
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seem to be an important issue for many reasons.
Firstly
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, it reduces their focus span which negatively impacts their academic performance
due to
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struggling
in spending
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to spend
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long
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a long
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time
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on one skill.
Children
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therefore
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are generally
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generally tend
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tend
Add the particle
tend to
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accomplish their assignments quickly ignoring the work accuracy.
For example
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, kids who spend many
hours
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daily playing computer
games
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are less likely to give accurate answers in Math problems because of their short focus span which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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the total outcome. Another drawback of
this
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problem is their ability to socialize and engage in their communities.
While
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kids
are
Verb problem
find it
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easy to build relationships
,
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with, the
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the
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apply
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screen
time
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is a major reason
of
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for
show examples
keeping them disconnected
to
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from
show examples
their
surrounding
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surroundings
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.
Children
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prefer to interact with the digital world rather than their environment, which leads to
weaken
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weakening
show examples
their communication skills. I believe governments can participate effectively in solving these issues. To encourage
children
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to reduce gaming
hours
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,
A
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apply
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governmental policies are required. Policies can help parents
to
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apply
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limit
the
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apply
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internet access for their kids which results in less screen
time
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giving them room to focus on their studies. Students who play computer
games
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few
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a few
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hours
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daily have enough
time
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to achieve their school tasks successfully.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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research conducted on elementary students showed higher Math scores were gained by those students who spent
less
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fewer
show examples
hours
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using electronic devices.
Also
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, establishing
community
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centers
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centres
show examples
can motivate them to meet their peers and build new friendships. Social activities
such
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as group work will motivate
children
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not only to engage in their
community
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,
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apply
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but
also
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to develop their ability to communicate. A cooking club in the
community
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centre,
for example
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, encourage
children
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to collaborate, discuss, and share opinions, which makes them socialize positively. In conclusion, technology plays a fundamental role in people’s daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
However
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, the issue of the
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
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of computer
games
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by
children
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may cause concentration and communication problems for them. Setting policies for accessing the internet and building
community
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clubs can solve
this
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problem.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports your overall argument. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly connect your points with linking words and phrases to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. This can make your writing more convincing.
task achievement
In the introduction, state your main argument clearly. This helps the reader understand the direction of your essay from the start.
task achievement
Your points about the impact of gaming on children's concentration and communication skills are insightful and relevant.
task achievement
You present a variety of ideas on how to address the issues, which shows critical thinking and awareness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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