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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is considered that school-going pupil gets a lot of knowledge and personal
skills
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 from their
teachers
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.
Therefore
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, they play a significant role in their upbringing.
However
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, they are important, and the value of guardians should not be neglected
hence
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 I think that
along with
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teachers
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 they are
also
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 equally important for kids. I discuss my view in detail in
this
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 essay below.
To begin
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 with, it is an undeniable fact that the mother is considered to be the first guide for the
children
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 when they are born. Mother is the one who teaches how to feed and how to start talking, crawling, and walking. So, we can not say that the influence of the
teachers
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 is more.
Secondly
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, when they are young they mostly spend time under the supervision of their
parents
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 they are the ones who tell them that
this
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 thing is good for them and which is harmful.
Moreover
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, when they start their schooling they know most of the ethics of how to behave, and how to talk with fellows they are learning
this
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 from their
parents
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.
Furthermore
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,
teachers
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 are the mentors who teach them different subjects enhance their knowledge they polish their
skills
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. In most Asian countries Like Pakistan,
children
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 are sent to academies when they are about 7 years of age
therefore
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 before
this
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, they learn from their
parents
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.
In addition
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,
children
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's social development includes many contents like interpersonal
skills
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, team efforts, communication
skills
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, and many more. The teacher will help them to learn all
this
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 in better and more appropriate ways by arranging different activities. But it takes too long to learn all
this
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 and they start learning all these
skills
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 when they are born they start interactions with their loved ones when they are of just a few months and they know
this
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 from day one because of their
parents
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.
For instance
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, it has been scientifically proved recently that
children
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 who spend more time with their
parents
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 can develop the best communication
skills
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 in the future. In conclusion, we can not deny the value of
teachers
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 in our kids' lives but
parents
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 prove more significant value.
Parents
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 pass on more knowledge, and personal
skills
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 teach them in good ways, and help them how to face the circumstances in difficult situations and deal with those situations more precisely.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 guide their young ones in a more good manner as compared to
teachers
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and flow logically from one to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points by supporting them with relevant examples or explanations. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and elaborate on it sufficiently.
Task Achievement
Your response should directly address the prompt throughout the essay. Make sure your argument aligns with the prompt and consistently maintain your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your ideas clearly and advance your argument. Employ transitional words and phrases to enhance the flow of information.
Task Achievement
Include specific and detailed examples to support your points. These examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the main idea of each paragraph.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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