IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done-about this problem?

Despite bringing advanced technology to the field of agriculture, numerous
people
Use synonyms
 face the issue of not having
food
Use synonyms
 and remaining hungry.
This
Linking Words
 essay will first demonstrate what are the problems
such
Linking Words
 as inflation in
food
Use synonyms
 prices and poor transportation in remote areas and
then
Linking Words
 will explain what are the solutions like maintaining
food
Use synonyms
 prices and finding areas which are cut down from the
food
Use synonyms
 supply chain. On the one hand, almost every nation has introduced technology in the agricultural field, but still,
people
Use synonyms
 around the world go hungry because the first and foremost reason is inflation in
food
Use synonyms
 day-by-day.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, poor
people
Use synonyms
 around the globe cannot afford to buy it because of their lower salaries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government should look into the matter of improper transportation of the
food
Use synonyms
 chain.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could die
also
Linking Words
 by lack of a daily meals.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2000, in Kenya, one trial community had died because of no
food
Use synonyms
 supply.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by enhancing the agricultural smooth operations, still
people
Use synonyms
 around the world go hungry. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 massive problem, authorities should maintain a balance in
food
Use synonyms
 prices, so that everyone can afford to purchase
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in remote communities that are not connected properly to the
food
Use synonyms
 supply, the government's
food
Use synonyms
 department has to look into
this
Linking Words
 matter and try to make a smooth and efficient flow of the
food
Use synonyms
 supply process.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kerala, there has never been a lack of
food
Use synonyms
 resources till today since 1947. In conclusion, with increasing technological growth in the farming field,
people
Use synonyms
 face issues like increased rate of essential
food
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 poor transportation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, authorities must resolve high-priced
food
Use synonyms
 rates and provide
food
Use synonyms
 everywhere.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction and follow them throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide stronger examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are relevant to the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize the main points you discussed instead of repeating them straightforwardly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and identifies key problems and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your ideas into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: