Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that

famlies

Correct your spelling

families

should spend big amounts of

money

Use synonyms

on their

parties

Use synonyms

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

others believe that

this

Linking Words

is not a wise

desission

Correct your spelling

decision

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the second point of view. Many people believe that they should allocate big budgets for their family celebrations. They would usually throw fancy and expensive

parties

Use synonyms

for their

occeasions

Correct your spelling

occasions

such

Linking Words

as birthdays and baby showers spending so much on details.

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, they could have used

this

Linking Words

amount of

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

smarter

Add an article

a smarter

the smarter

show examples

way like saving for a family trip which will create

unforgetable

Correct your spelling

unforgettable

memories and they might enjoy it more.

For instance

Linking Words

, families in Saudi Arabia spent over than 100 million on birthday

parties

Use synonyms

in 2023.

On the other hand

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that spending so much

money

Use synonyms

on one event is a waste of both

money

Use synonyms

and time.

Instaed

Correct your spelling

Instead

these families would throw

a small and simple

Correct the article-noun agreement

a small and simple party

small and simple parties

show examples

parties

Use synonyms

and they will invest

this

Linking Words

spare

money

Use synonyms

in stock or

realstae

Correct your spelling

real-estate

real state

market and

then

Linking Words

use

this

Linking Words

investment for their children's education or for personal goals

such

Linking Words

as buying a new car.

For instance

Linking Words

, many families in the UK have trust funds for their children and they add a fixed

anual

Correct your spelling

annual

amount to it on their

birthadys

Correct your spelling

birthdays

. In conclusion, throwing expensive celebrations can be fun but it is not the best way to celebrate.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that having

smaler

Correct your spelling

smaller

parties

Use synonyms

and wisely using the spare

money

Use synonyms

is a more viable alternative.

ssaalahmari

Jul 3, 2025

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spelling error

Make sure to spell check for words to ensure clarity (e.g., 'whilst' instead of 'whilist', 'decision' instead of 'desission').

structure

Try to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that summarize the main idea.

content

Add more examples or details to strengthen your points and make your argument clearer.

cohesion

Use linking words (e.g., however, furthermore) to connect ideas better and improve overall flow.

content

You present both viewpoints clearly and support your opinion well.

structure

Your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively, giving a clear stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic ideas & vocabulary
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Topic Vocabulary:

cherish
nurture
strengthen
bond
create memories
enjoyment
sense of belonging
reconnect
unite
traditions
create traditions
financial burden
priorities
moderation
budget
frugal
extravagant

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