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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The tables shows how these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.

The pie charts below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The tables shows how these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.
The pie chart illustrates the causes and proportion of worldwide
degradation
Use synonyms
 of
land
Use synonyms
, and
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 depicts the percentage
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 region in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart there is
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
 by
over-garazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
 is more and other reasons are very
less
Replace the word
little
show examples
. The table shows Europe has
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
degradation
Use synonyms
 among other nations, and North
Amarica
Correct your spelling
America
has
Add the particle
has to
show examples
vary
Correct your spelling
very
show examples
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
percenge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
pie
Add an article
the pie
a pie
show examples
 chart, men made deforestation and
over- grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
 by pets causes nearly similar and the highest proportion of
land
Use synonyms
degration
Correct your spelling
degradation
, which is around 65% together.
Over cultivation
Add a hyphen
Over-cultivation
show examples
 of plants affects 28%
Use synonyms
land
Change preposition
of land
show examples
 with
degradation
Use synonyms
 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 7%
Add a missing verb
is causes
show examples
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by other unknown factors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
looking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
at
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
 shows
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different regions and the reasons for that
degradation
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 North America has
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
show examples
 percentage with very less
0.2
Change preposition
than 0.2
show examples
% by
deforastation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
. Europe is facing
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 problems with
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
, the
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
issue is deforestation there
also
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Oceania
facing
Verb problem
is
show examples
facing
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
troubles with
over- grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
 with 11.3 % among 13% of total
degradation
Use synonyms
. There is zero problem with
over1-cultivation
Correct your spelling
over-cultivation
 in Oceania.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degradation, land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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