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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that classroom education provides broad exposure, while others say that distance education programmes provide a much broader span of knowledge and information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued by some folks that physical teaching helps
students
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 experience a wider range of skills and knowledge,
while
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 others believe that online learning is more beneficial.
This
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 essay elucidates both plots with relevant examples, followed by my point of view.
To begin
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 with, why do many people favour classroom learning
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Firstly
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, in-person teaching services help
students
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for
Verb problem
gain for
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 live understanding of theoretical
as well as
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 practical procedures. Which means
,
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apply
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 some procedures need to be practised,
such
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 as chemistry and biology practicals.
For example
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, in the labs of bio-science, physics and chemistry
students
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 have to practice with instruments and measurements in front of expert teachers, which is impossible to learn online.
Secondly
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, schools teach
students
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 to maintain professional behaviour with educators and other
students
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.
This
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 will be very informative for pupils to become disciplined nd professional individuals.
On the other hand
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, the main reason for favouring distance education is the convenience of
time
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 because online lectures are available day and night without limitation of
time
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.
In other words
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, student can learn
according to
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 their schedule and preferred
time
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instead
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 of a fixed timetable as in offline lectures.
For instance
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, online teaching platforms
such
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 as Alison provide pre-recorded lectures that are easily accessible for
students
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 from their homes at any
time
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. Another one is e-learning shares audio-visual
information
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 for studies, which is impactful for a better understanding of the topic. It causes a knock-on effect to learn when pupils use both their auditory and visual senses to gain
information
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. In my opinion, in the era of growing technology, where the internet and high-tech gadgets are upgraded, people can search for any
information
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 online.
Therefore
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, they do not need to travel to educational organisations and sit there for long hours;
this
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 helps to save
time
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 and travel expenses. In conclusion, many believe that physical learning is more effective for gaining knowledge and
information
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 than online platforms.
However
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, Physical learning is beneficial in terms of teaching practical skills and interpersonal relationship management to
students
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 for a bright future, but I believe e-learning is way more effective because it saves
time
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 and travel expenses.
Also
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, it provides audio-visual screens for deeper understanding.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are logically ordered to create a stronger flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples for each point to strengthen your argument and provide clearer supporting details.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument well, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay, which is good.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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