IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that teachingchildren at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

#people #teachingchildren #home #child #development #children #school #methods
Some people claim that home
school
 is the best way for young
children
's development,
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
 young
children
 should receive care from parent at a young age and spend qualities time together before they grow up;
in contrast
, few individuals say that
school
 is the best way to develop themself, in fact,
school
 is a simulator of social it can help
children
 to adapt to society.
To begin
 with, several households choose to homeschool their
children
 because they want to spend time with their kids between ages 1 and 5 years old is a great moment to gain warmth from parents;
moreover
, kids will have more experience by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or tiniest thing around them and
children
 will not face excessive academic pressure that will affect with their emotional when there grow up.
In addition
,
this
 way can save them from bullying issues at the
school
 which is the greatest concern from every family.
On the other hand
, traditional
school
 is similar to society that has competition so every student it can help students to prepare for real competition in the future; alternatively,
school
 can offer
children
 the opportunity to develop social skills by interacting with a diverse group of peers from various backgrounds and cultures.
Furthermore
, the
school
 helps
children
 to improve their time management skills from a schedule and adhere to
school
 rules.
To sum up
, traditional schools can develop students for real society in the future and homeschooling can make kids more experienced because it doesn't only academics but learning about living skills.
However
, both choices are essential for
children
.
Submitted by np.napatping on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider refining the structure to enhance clarity and flow. While the key points are present, the transition between ideas could be more seamless, which would improve the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Try to expand on examples that clearly illustrate the pros and cons of both homeschooling and traditional schooling. More specific examples could provide stronger support for your points.
task achievement
Both homeschooling and traditional schooling are discussed effectively, capturing different aspects of a child's development.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion that summarizes the main points is present, reinforcing the essay's arguments and points of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized learning
  • Flexibility
  • Social skills development
  • Diverse group of peers
  • Independence
  • Responsibility
  • Learning environment
  • Educational resources
  • Specialist teachers
  • Bullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Hands-on learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!