The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants
The bar chart gives information about the numbers of
people
Use synonyms
attending a variety of specific evening courses, which took place at an adult education centre, in 2009, broken down by gender,
whereas
Linking Words
the pie chart provides data regarding the age groups of the participants.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the most popular courses were language and painting, and there were more women than men.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
noticeable that the vast majority of attendees were over 40 years old. Focusing first on the number of
people
Use synonyms
on different courses, 40 females preferred the language course,
while
Linking Words
the number of males was half as many. 30 women and approximately 25 men attended the painting,
whereas
Linking Words
for drama, the corresponding figures were 20 and 10. Notably, sculpture was the only course
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which was attended by more men than women, with about 10 and 5 participants, respectively. As for the percentages of
people
Use synonyms
in different age categories, most participants, over 40%, were 50 or over,
while
Linking Words
nearly 1 in 4 were between 40 and 49. Regarding those from 20 to 29 and 30 to 39, there were between 10 to 16 per cent of them. Only 5% of
people
Use synonyms
were younger than 20.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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