Most artist earn lower salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree ?

Many

artists

Use synonyms

earn low money, and they should get some

funds

Use synonyms

from the

government

Use synonyms

to help them

besides

Linking Words

their salary from their work. I personally agree that the benefits of receiving some

funds

Use synonyms

from the

government

Use synonyms

far outweigh its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold.

To begin

Linking Words

with, life has a lot of expenditures, which all

artists

Use synonyms

need some income to cover. Many

artists

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suffer from the cost of accommodation because of the high prices of things.

In addition

Linking Words

, some

artists

Use synonyms

spend money on their tools, colours, or musical instruments. These materials are really expensive and they cannot cover them with their little income.

Also

Linking Words

, most of them do not have stable jobs or monthly salaries, so they wait for someone to buy their work. If the

government

Use synonyms

supports them, they can continue their job and focus more on creating good art for the people.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the arts are not valuable products on which society relies.

Artists

Use synonyms

do not add products or services to people which is not necessary. They only provide emotions or beliefs in their art, which are really needed.

Linking Words

Therefore

Punctuation problem

Therefore,

show examples

they earn lower salaries, so they need

funds

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from their nations.

For example

Linking Words

, 87% of

artists

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in Rome can't afford their accommodation because they don't get enough money from the arts, which they sell on the street. In conclusion, life is so expensive for

artists

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Also

Linking Words

, they do not add a added value

such

Linking Words

as service or products to people. So, I believe they must get

funds

Use synonyms

from the

government

Use synonyms

amr.khaled9158

Jul 4, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, and give a brief overview of the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer linking words between sentences and paragraphs to help the reader follow your ideas better.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to support your points, explaining why they are important.

task achievement

You have a good understanding of the main topic and provided a clear opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
national identity
economic benefits
tourism
employment
investment
government support
patronage
crowdfunding
allocation
criteria
artistic freedom
innovation
emerging artists
diverse forms
creative industry
financial struggles
drawbacks

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Most artist earn lower salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Air transport is increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to other countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say this is good but other believe the use of air transport for this purpose is not justified. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree