Most artist earn lower salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree ?

Many
artists
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earn low money, and they should get some
funds
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from the
government
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to help them
besides
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their salary from their work. I personally agree that the benefits of receiving some
funds
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from the
government
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far outweigh its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold.
To begin
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with, life has a lot of expenditures, which all
artists
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need some income to cover. Many
artists
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suffer from the cost of accommodation because of the high prices of things.
In addition
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, some
artists
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spend money on their tools, colours, or musical instruments. These materials are really expensive and they cannot cover them with their little income.
Also
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, most of them do not have stable jobs or monthly salaries, so they wait for someone to buy their work. If the
government
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supports them, they can continue their job and focus more on creating good art for the people.
Furthermore
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, the arts are not valuable products on which society relies.
Artists
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do not add products or services to people which is not necessary. They only provide emotions or beliefs in their art, which are really needed.
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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they earn lower salaries, so they need
funds
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from their nations.
For example
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, 87% of
artists
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in Rome can't afford their accommodation because they don't get enough money from the arts, which they sell on the street. In conclusion, life is so expensive for
artists
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.
Also
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, they do not add a added value
such
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as service or products to people. So, I believe they must get
funds
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from the
government
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, and give a brief overview of the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between sentences and paragraphs to help the reader follow your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points, explaining why they are important.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the main topic and provided a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • employment
  • investment
  • government support
  • patronage
  • crowdfunding
  • allocation
  • criteria
  • artistic freedom
  • innovation
  • emerging artists
  • diverse forms
  • creative industry
  • financial struggles
  • drawbacks
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