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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think it provides more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
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 contemporary epoch, the issue of whether or not
climate
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change
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 has a positive impact on business is certainly a contentious one. I personally believe that it brings more business chances, especially in modern industries, because
this
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 will help support the eco-friendly ideas and open new markets. In
this
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 essay, both views
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along
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, along
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 with my
opinion
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opinion,
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 will be
further
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 elaborated. On the one hand, many people discern that because of floods, fires, or strong storms, buildings and machines may get destroyed, and work cannot continue. An eminent example of
this
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 is when farms lose crops
due to
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 extreme heat or rain, companies lose money.
Also
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, the machines that are running can be slowed down
due to
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 rising temperatures.
Thus
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, what can be said is that
climate
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change
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 brings many problems to traditional industries.
On the other hand
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, despite the previously mentioned dangers, I
emphasize
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emphasise
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 that new businesses can grow because people will care more about the environment
due to
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climate
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change
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.
In other words
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,
climate
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change
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 can create natural energy sources like water from heavy rain or floods.
This
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 can be witnessed in the way some companies use floodwater to make electricity by building small dams and hydro stations.
Hence
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, in order to have a growing and clean market, people ought to support businesses that turn
climate
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 problems into useful power. In conclusion,
after
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this
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 essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that
climate
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change
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 causes problems, but
such
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 a thing is able to create new business opportunities.
Therefore
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, I once again reaffirm my position that it provides more opportunities than its drawbacks.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea to improve flow.
coherence
Use connecting words to help guide readers through your ideas.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
coherence
The essay has a good balance between discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made, reinforcing your opinion.
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