The bar charts below show the prevelance of obesity among boys and girls aged 12-19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014

The bar charts below show the prevelance of obesity among boys and girls aged 12-19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar charts below show the prevelance of obesity among boys and girls aged 12-19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014
The given bar charts illustrate the
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of males and females aged 12-19 who suffer from obesity by
ethincity
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ethnicity
in the US in 2004
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
2014. In terms of Non-Hispanic White, it can be seen that the
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
of
boys
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are higher than
girls
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, with 12% obese
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and 9%
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in 2004.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
boys
Use synonyms
' percentages increased to 17%,
while
Linking Words
girls
Use synonyms
rose by just 5% in 2014. Regarding Non-Hispanic Black,
conversely
Linking Words
,
girls
Use synonyms
show in
this
Linking Words
figure higher percentages compared to the
forementioned
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aforementioned
show examples
,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
for 16% and 29% in 2004 and
2014
Punctuation problem
2014,
show examples
respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
the
boys
Use synonyms
experienced the lowest proportion with 11% in 2004 and one-fifth in 2014.
According to
Linking Words
Hispanic
Correct article usage
the Hispanic
show examples
, in
Check wording
population, in
show examples
2004, the two genders had almost similar trends, around 12%
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
and 13%
boy
Fix the agreement mistake
boys
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2014 there was a significant
defference
Correct your spelling
difference
by 10%, with 27%
represent
Wrong verb form
representing
show examples
the males and just 17% for the females.
Overall
Linking Words
,
boys
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Verb problem
have had
show examples
had always
Correct word order
always had
show examples
the highest percentage in all three categories,
exept
Correct your spelling
except
Non-Hispanic black, where the
girls
Use synonyms
dominate for the first time.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • ethnicity
  • obesity rates
  • gender comparison
  • ethnic disparities
  • socio-economic factors
  • cultural factors
  • environmental factors
  • long-term health consequences
  • healthcare systems
  • government policies
  • community programs
  • adolescents
  • trend analysis
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