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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people prefer to change their
jobs
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 frequently,
while
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 others decide on a
career
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 path early in their lives and stick to it and are more likely to have a satisfying working life. Both have their good and bad sides. In my opinion, choosing
one
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career
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 and focusing on it for a long time is better than changing
jobs
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 frequently.
Firstly
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, changing
jobs
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 frequently can help diversify experience and open up new opportunities.
This
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 can help them explore different working environments and find out their best-suited job.
However
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, frequently changing
jobs
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 can lead to several issues,
such
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 as a lack of experience, diminished company loyalty, and reduced opportunity for long-term benefits.
For example
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, Emma worked at a company for a short time that did not offer any benefit packages, leading to an imbalance in her work-life balance.
On the other hand
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, committing to a
career
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 can offer numerous advantages. People who stay in
one
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 job long-term often receive better benefits than the new employee,
such
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 as a permanent contract and more stability.
For instance
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, Tom has been working at his company for four years, and he holds the stable position of project leader with a consistent salary. It leads to people who
chooses
Correct subject-verb agreement
choose
show examples
one
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career
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has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the potential to become an expert, have a high position at work, and have a high salary. In conclusion, changing
jobs
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 frequently may bring variety. But staying committed to
one
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 job or
career
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 can give more stability and a more satisfying working life.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it throughout the paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion on the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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