In some areas of the U.S., a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. What is your opinion about this? Agree? Disagree?
Many
parents
use Use synonyms
curfew
to keep their children safeFix the agreement mistake
curfews
,
Punctuation problem
.
in
my opinion,I agree that curfews are important and necessary for safety.
Fix capitalization
In
To begin
with,numerous Linking Words
parents
believe in home Use synonyms
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
,
to protect their kids from any potential danger,Punctuation problem
apply
such
as getting kidnapped or being robbed. Linking Words
For instance
,many cities report higher crime rates at night,and teenagers walking alone may become easy targets. By Linking Words
sitting
a curfew,Use the right word
setting
parents
can ensure their children return home before risky hours. Which reduces the chances of getting hurt and Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
parents
peace of mind.
Another point to consider is that teenagers are more energetic and have a lot of bold and irresponsible ideas,Use synonyms
such
as "we only live onceLinking Words
"
Punctuation problem
",
Wich
can lead to bad decisions. Use the right word
which
For example
,trying drugs Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
apply
Linking Words
that
is illegal. Causing addiction and a lot of consequences that they could have avoided in the first place.
In conclusion,every family should have a home deadlineCorrect determiner usage
apply
,
for their Punctuation problem
apply
children
safety and not worry whenever they are going out.Check wording
children's
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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main point and connect well to the next.
task achievement
Try to explain your main points in more detail. Adding more examples or explanations would help the reader understand better.
grammar and vocabulary
Watch out for grammar and spelling mistakes, like 'Wich' instead of 'Which' and 'home deadline' instead of 'curfew'.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion in your introduction, which is good for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your point well, showing that you understand the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite