IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The money spend by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
The debate over whether government spending on
space
 programs should be redirected to vital public services,
such
 as schools and hospitals, is a nuanced one.
While
 it is undeniable that education and healthcare are fundamental to societal well-being,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment in
space
exploration
also
 carries significant benefits that should not be overlooked. On one hand, allocating more funds to public services
such
 as education and healthcare can directly enhance the quality of life for citizens. Improved funding for schools can lead to better educational resources, more qualified teachers, and enhanced learning environments.
Similarly
, increased investment in hospitals can improve patient care, reduce wait times, and ensure that medical advancements reach those in need. These sectors have a tangible and immediate impact on the population's daily life and can address urgent needs more effectively.
However
,
space
 programs
also
 offer substantial advantages that can indirectly benefit society. Investments in
space
exploration
 can drive technological innovation, which often has practical applications on Earth.
For instance
, advancements developed for
space
 missions have led to improvements in medical technology, environmental monitoring, and telecommunications.
Furthermore
,
space
 research can enhance our understanding of the universe, potentially leading to discoveries that could solve global challenges,
such
 as resource shortages or climate change.
Moreover
, the pursuit of
space
exploration
 can inspire future generations, fostering interest in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) fields.
This
 can lead to a more skilled workforce, which is crucial for long-term economic growth and competitiveness. The prestige associated with leading
space
 missions can
also
 bolster national pride and international standing. In conclusion,
while
 the immediate benefits of funding for schools and hospitals are clear and critical, the long-term advantages of investing in
space
 programs should not be dismissed. A balanced approach, where both public services and
space
exploration
 are adequately funded, might be the most prudent way to address both current and future needs.
Submitted by harjass308 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This could help to strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and sentence structures to maintain clarity and precision throughout your essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, ensuring coherence and readability.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic at hand. The essay demonstrates a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument and providing insightful analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!