IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Advertisement it is basically shows the
business
Use synonyms
 to tempt
people
Use synonyms
 so they can have more customers . It has been argued that advertising is the best method to attract customers,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is an obstacle which will no longer be attractive to
people
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will go through both views and include my opinion. On the one hand , there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that any successful
business
Use synonyms
 has a great advertisement behind it . One of the main reasons is that these days all
people
Use synonyms
 have a really busy schedule and life ,which makes it difficult to search for it or go to the shop.After that, the companies get the idea that they can save time by doing a commercial .
As a result
Linking Words
, these companies that started their
business
Use synonyms
 in a New way are not only the most successful,but all their clients are satisfied.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , having said that, we should mention the other arguments ,which
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
people
Use synonyms
 will not be longer gives attention.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is a repeated commercial , and all of them are copying each other.
In other words
Linking Words
, the small
business
Use synonyms
 is still different from the bigger ones.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 will feel bored , unless,try to make it more complicated and costly ,so they can not be offered to make same as the older or the original. Take China as an example, there is a local market where trying to make the same advertisement as the most famous one , they actually win ,
in addition
Linking Words
, they have more
people
Use synonyms
 than ever before thanks to the most popular brand. In conclusion,having looked at the topic in detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the first argument was the most realistic, which is what is happening now,
people
Use synonyms
 are buying things they do not need,but the advertising makes it extremely beautiful and persuades as to peaches it .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction needs to be clearer. Try to state your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas better. This will help the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs focus on one main idea each. This will improve your structure.
task achievement
You made a good attempt to discuss both views, which is important for this task.
task achievement
Your examples, like the reference to China, show effort to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • capture attention
  • emotional engagement
  • targeting techniques
  • tailor ads
  • preferences
  • celebrity endorsements
  • influencer marketing
  • psychological tactics
  • scarcity
  • urgency
  • ad fatigue
  • effectiveness
  • coping mechanisms
  • ad blockers
  • saturated markets
  • innovative strategies
  • traditional methods
  • digital media
What to do next:
Look at other essays: