IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: • Say that you liked their photos of your family. • Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event. • Give them the details of the event.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to the
photographer
Use synonyms
 Michael to tell him that I am very pleased with the photos and to ask him to photograph another party.
Last
Linking Words
 summer in America we took pictures at a family dinner.
This
Linking Words
 photo was taken by a professional
photographer
Use synonyms
. Me and my family really liked
this
Linking Words
 picture. Michael the
photographer
Use synonyms
 takes very beautiful and clear pictures. We are asking you to come and be our
photographer
Use synonyms
 at our special family event
this
Linking Words
 month. We will be very happy If you come and serve at our event. Because you are a good
photographer
Use synonyms
. Our foreign relatives come to our family
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
. I am sure the events will be
such
Linking Words
 that we all enjoy and have fun. On the holiday, all relatives are together and united. We eat different foods and drinks.
Then
Linking Words
 everyone dances. Wonderful songs are sung. I hope you will come too. I live with my family in Istanbul, the capital of Turkey. I am waiting for you to come. Bye, see you at the party. Yours faithfully, Nigina

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to maintain a more structured form, dividing the letter into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose: introduction, request, event details, and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your greeting and closing need adjustments. Normally, when you know the person's name, it is more appropriate to use 'Dear [First Name],'. If the name is unknown, 'Dear Sir or Madam,' is suitable; for closing, 'Yours sincerely,' is used when the name is known, otherwise 'Yours faithfully,' is correct.
Task Response
Provide clear and direct responses to the task's bullet points. In your letter, you could explicitly praise the previous photo session before transitioning to your request and then providing the specific details of the event.
Task Response
Maintain a formal or semi-formal tone consistently throughout the letter. While your tone is generally appropriate, certain informal expressions ('this photo was taken by a professional photographer', 'I am waiting for you to come. Bye, see you at the party.') could be altered to sound more formal.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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