Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Every person is extremely
close
Replace the word
closely
show examples
connected with
art
Use synonyms
. You
can don’t
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
understand fully
Correct word order
fully understand
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
sphere made a huge
affection
Check wording
impact
show examples
on
people
Use synonyms
. So, it is understandable
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
why
this
Linking Words
subject is in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
program. But some
people
Use synonyms
think that
children
Use synonyms
can improve without
art
Use synonyms
. And somebody
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
that it is
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
subject. Let’s discuss more about it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I want to
notice
Verb problem
note
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
people
Use synonyms
who don’t like
art
Use synonyms
usually have another view on life generally. And it is understandable
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
why they think that
art
Use synonyms
it’s
Verb problem
is
show examples
a waste of time. You should dive into
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
idea of
pictures
Correct article usage
the pictures
show examples
, search
interesting
Change preposition
for interesting
show examples
things for you. If you have
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
situation in your life, maybe there is a lot of work or something like
this
Linking Words
, and
this
Linking Words
is a
reason
Use synonyms
why it is difficult for you to spend time on it, probably you will be
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
person who
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
understand
art
Use synonyms
. Maybe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
you will find development in sport or in science.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who think that
art
Use synonyms
is essential have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
soul and critical thinking. Because of
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
of
factors
Punctuation problem
factors,
show examples
they come to thoughts about that human and
art
Use synonyms
go hand in hand. So,
this
Linking Words
is the
reason
Use synonyms
why
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
want
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
study
Verb problem
to study
show examples
art
Use synonyms
. Talking about myself, I want to say that
art
Use synonyms
in schools is unnecessary.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
is that
art
Use synonyms
helps to improve critical thinking.
People
Use synonyms
learn to find more than they see.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
is about
creative
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
. When
children
Use synonyms
look at
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
works of
worldly famous
Use the right word
world-famous
show examples
creators
Punctuation problem
creators,
show examples
it helps them to remove
Correct article usage
the limit
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
of
abilities
Correct pronoun usage
their abilities
show examples
.
Third
Correct article usage
The third
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
is that
art
Use synonyms
helps to understand yourself. You can notice what types of
art
Use synonyms
appeals
Fix the agreement mistake
appeal
show examples
to you, and it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shapes your individuality. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I want to say that
art
Use synonyms
is really essential in my opinion. If
children
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn more about
Use synonyms
art
Punctuation problem
art,
show examples
it will make them smarter and more suitable for
next
Correct word choice
future
show examples
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
in different spheres.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Try to group similar ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' to help connect your points and make it easier to follow your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, and then support it with examples throughout the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more detail or examples. This will help to create clearer and more comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
You provided an interesting perspective on both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion clearly, which is good for wrapping up your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: