IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The export of second-hand goods from developed countries to under-developed cuntries brings both economic advantages and environmental concerns. Do the benefits outweight the drawbacks? Discuss boh sides and state your opinion.

The overconsumption of second-hand stocks in underdeveloped communities—mainly imported from developed countries—is creating both environmental challenges and economic benefits. Goods
such
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 as cars, clothing, and electronic devices are traded globally.
While
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 I believe the volume of these imports should be reduced, I do not support a complete ban. Used items are often significantly more affordable, which benefits low-income populations in developing nations. As second-hand goods are typically 40–80% cheaper than brand-new alternatives, many individuals can access necessities that would
otherwise
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 be unaffordable.
Additionally
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, exporting used equipment generates revenue for developed countries.
For instance
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, a recent study found that over 70% of Japanese vehicles are exported, supporting the country’s automobile sector and funding new production.
However
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, the excessive importation of second-hand wares has serious environmental consequences. In Mongolia, over 70% of vehicles on the road are outdated, contributing heavily to urban air pollution.
Moreover
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, much second-hand equipment is of poor quality and breaks down quickly, becoming waste within a short time. These products are often manufactured using resources that have already reached their limits or contain hazardous materials.
According to
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 marine biologists, more than 100,000 sea animals die annually
due to
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 pollution caused by improperly recycled goods. In conclusion,
although
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 the trade in second-hand items provides economic advantages for both exporting and importing countries, the environmental costs cannot be ignored.
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Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 I believe,
while
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this
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 trade should not be completely prohibited, stricter regulations are necessary to prevent the import of outdated, low-quality, and environmentally harmful products
—
Punctuation problem
,
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ensuring both economic opportunity and environmental protection for developing communities.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
To improve your conclusion, try to briefly summarize your main points before stating your opinion. This reinforces your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This adds strength to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of specific statistics, like the percentage of Japanese vehicles exported, makes your argument more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export
  • import
  • developed countries
  • under-developed countries
  • economic
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • environmental
  • concerns
  • jobs
  • market
  • prices
  • affordable
  • waste
  • transportation
  • carbon emissions
  • pollution
  • quality
  • safety
  • cultural
  • impact
  • dependence
  • local production
  • innovation
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